What is that which gives me a high?
I remember the first time I felt that emotion.. I had gone to Chandigarh for an audit. After a hard day's work, we were standing in the garden of the guest house, chatting. It was still evening and the sky was a light blue with white clouds. Suddenly, there was a moment of peace within me. My heart felt lighter. A feeling of complete contentment swept over me. I was happy, content and peaceful. I don't know why. Nothing had suddenly happened out of the way. I hadn't had any fight with anyone which suddenly got resolved. Nothing untoward had happened. But that feeling of light heartedness and happiness had come to me in a wave; like a giant Tsunami of happiness which swept past me and bowled me over.
This was in 1998 or 99. Almost 15 years ago.
And it happened once more around 7-8 years ago. This time, I don't remember the setting or when or how. I just remember thinking at that point; that I have felt this way earlier. In Chandigarh. And I'm happy and content again.
It's not happened again. Sometimes I find myself standing still in a similar environment of white clouds drifting in a peaceful blue sky and waiting for that wave to find me and drench me. I wait and think but it doesn't come. I know I can't grab it. It has to come on it's own; maybe in a different setting. Maybe when I'm not prepared for it. Or expecting it. And this time, I want to capture every moment of it and record it in my memory. Not like the second time when I all I remember now is that it did come.
Is it important? It's not that I'm not happy or content otherwise. It's not that I don't smile or laugh. But what was special in that wave? Why do I still remember it and long for it?
And why is the colour of the sky still so vividly imprinted in my mind?
I remember the first time I felt that emotion.. I had gone to Chandigarh for an audit. After a hard day's work, we were standing in the garden of the guest house, chatting. It was still evening and the sky was a light blue with white clouds. Suddenly, there was a moment of peace within me. My heart felt lighter. A feeling of complete contentment swept over me. I was happy, content and peaceful. I don't know why. Nothing had suddenly happened out of the way. I hadn't had any fight with anyone which suddenly got resolved. Nothing untoward had happened. But that feeling of light heartedness and happiness had come to me in a wave; like a giant Tsunami of happiness which swept past me and bowled me over.
This was in 1998 or 99. Almost 15 years ago.
And it happened once more around 7-8 years ago. This time, I don't remember the setting or when or how. I just remember thinking at that point; that I have felt this way earlier. In Chandigarh. And I'm happy and content again.
It's not happened again. Sometimes I find myself standing still in a similar environment of white clouds drifting in a peaceful blue sky and waiting for that wave to find me and drench me. I wait and think but it doesn't come. I know I can't grab it. It has to come on it's own; maybe in a different setting. Maybe when I'm not prepared for it. Or expecting it. And this time, I want to capture every moment of it and record it in my memory. Not like the second time when I all I remember now is that it did come.
Is it important? It's not that I'm not happy or content otherwise. It's not that I don't smile or laugh. But what was special in that wave? Why do I still remember it and long for it?
And why is the colour of the sky still so vividly imprinted in my mind?
